Letters to Hookups: Where Did You Come From?

Is what you kept asking. That and, “Are you sure about this?” Come on guy. You’re a pity fuck. Show some bravado. Assert yourself. Make up for your physical shortcomings.

Like those thighs! How do only your thighs get chubby? How does that happen? I. don’t. understand. your. body. type.

Probably the most interesting part of the whole ordeal was when your roommate accidentally walked in. Srsly, what kind of roommate just opens a closed bedroom door and walks in at 4am? She’s probably used to eating tubs of icecream with you and watching Sex and the City dvds on Saturday nights.

In closing, all of the above is probably sufficient explanation for why I ran out of your house while you were in the bathroom.

Heartz,
-Awkward Nights