Rough Trade

Awkers, will I ever have a healthy, normal relationship? Will I ever have a healhy, normal hookup? Or am I destined to have climb-the-fence, alley-behind-the-bar, rough-trade trysts until doomsday? Who am I kidding. What's normal anyways? A social construct based on outdated, Victorian-era morals; THAT's what.


I don't remember if I did all of my drugs or lost them.

I'm at work with the remnants of last night's makeup on.

I didn't even catch his first name.

I don't think I gave my real name.

I vaguely remember his friend standing by and watching.

Would I have it any other way?


-Awk.in.the.name.of.Love[Lust].

...think it o-o-over

Sibling Revalry

When Siblings Attack! Both my brother and my sister visited in succession last weekend. And you better believe it got awkward.

BRO:
-Brought a gaggle of art students that varied greatly in their levels of acceptability.
-Blew Gay Art Dude's mind with the endless possibilities of the Gay District.
-Attended a mildly entertaining drag show at Recently Rennovated Bro-Gay Bar.
-Got everyone drunk until it was late enough to go to Late Night Bar.
-Got brother in free as my +1 (thanks Dark-Hearted Door Boy!).
-Brother got eyed up by Secret Bi Promoter.
-Gay Art Dude made out with the lamest guy to ever walk in the door.
-Art Student Gaggle slammed their way through the dance floor.
-Brother met multiple characters from this blog IRL (eek!).
-Closed out the bar, threw up a little, then accompanied Art Student Gaggle to their hotel.

SIS:
-Met up at my work where I made her read this blog.
-We both got eyed up by a very stylish (and very tweaked) girl on the subway.
-Prebarred and did makeup at my tiny closet-sized apartment.
-Trekked to Goth Internet Creepster's place for more prebarring.
-Ex Porn Star and Goatee Twink were there already faded.
-Cabbed it to Late Night Bar.
-Sister met multiple characters from this blog IRL (eek!).
-Told lots of strangers that me and my sister were twins.
-Used this line to get a Uncomfortably Straight-Laced Guy to buy her some dranks.
-Got pretty hazy days and danced the tranny dance.
-Sister lost coat check tag.
-Went to Late Night Diner where Uncomfortably Straight-Laced Guy had followed us.
-Sister proceeded to flash her switchblade to "send a message."
-Crashed on the floor of closet-sized apartment.
-Took sister to fav vegetarian cafe.
-Waiter kept calling sister "Miss Thang."
-Killed time until the sun went down (fuck the sun, srsly).
-Prebarred and did makeup and took pictures in closet-sized apartment.
-Cabbed it to a monthly kinda-gothy upscale club night with DL mixed drinks in hand.
-Got party pic'ed jumping up and down.
-Started some social experiments by way of eye-fucking as many people possible.
-Drank DL mixed drinks perhaps a little too openly.
-Sister lost coat check tag.
-Cabbed it to Upscale Hipster Bar where Chest-Tat Boy was bartending.
-Bought mediocre blow from Chest-Tat Boy.
-More social experiment eye-fucking.
-Cabbed it to Late Night Goth Bar.
-Got WAY hazy days and did some bathroom blow bumps.
-EVEN MORE social experiment eye-fucking.

All in all it was a whirlwind of a weekend. Until next time, Awkers.
-in.the.name.of.the.Awky.Spirit.

Bonus text message between me and bro:
"Holy shit I can't feel my teeth!"
"Holy shit where are my pupils!?"