A New Look

The time has come, Awkers! I finally added pictures to all of the posts! Shitty MS Paint pictures! Is this a ploy to get you to reread previous posts and forget about the fact that I haven't updated much lately? You bet! What more can you ask of me than my honesty!?

In other news, the internet creepsters have been all up in my biz lately! I was just starting to hang out with Myspace Internet Creepster and his circle of friends when he goes and ruins it all by asking me on a date. It's pretty common knowledge that I DO NOT date, go on dates, enter relationships, or any of the like. So I did what any other awkward soul would do and ignored the email. Going out to the same place as him tonight, so we'll see how that goes!

Last night I went to see Goth Internet Creepster's DJ set at a new night he's trying to create with his friends. The crowd was divided into two camps. Those with G.I.C. and those with the other DJ who we shall call Stick Thin Goth. The bar was basically split down the middle like an abortion clinic protest. OF COURSE I was the one that got drunk enough to cross over into S.T.G. territory and mix things up. OF COURSE this resulted with more drinking until suddenly I woke up at home the next day with a GIRL's phone number in my pocket and a massive headache. Not sure if I even WANT to investigate what I did/said.

Enjoy the pix d00dz!
-Awk.Nite 3.0

I Have a Headache Part II

SO.... the scare was just a scare. Take THAT Dr. Stereotype M.D.!!! But that didn't stop me from imbibing enough booze and coke to qualify last night as a last hoorah just in case.

AND.... now i have a last hoorah hangover headache for no reason.

Cest la Vie! (is that how you spell that? i don't speak the language of Freedom Haters)

Now this page can go back to lacking the gravity and social relevance that yall TV babies detest so much.

I hope yall learn a lesson and wrap your reckless abandon in lubricated latex.

-Knights.of.the.Awk.Table

I Have a Headache

Awkers, I WAS going to do the same old and recount the [unofficially extended] weekend's debauchery and mayhem via [marginally] witty banter and Overly-Long-Hyphenated-Nicknames. THEN my evil fucking vindictive doctor decides to throw me a motherfucking fuck shit fuck fuck AIDS scare.

"You prefer men? Well you have had this cough for a while. Now that I know about this persuasion, I'm really thinking we should do an HIV test."

Yes, you read correctly... PERSUASION. WTF! Because Straighty-Vanilla-McGee discovers I'm a 'mo, HIV just HAS to be the reason her PHD can't pinpoint why I'm coughing. I [probably] should just relax because it's [hopefully] pretty unlikely. But. this. will. never. stop. being. scary.


WELL.... I'll know at the end of the week, so here are some life questions that I was pondering previously anyways:

-Will I ever fully put myself out there with a creative project; be it music, clothing, or film?
-Will I ever enter a monogamous relationship (or a relationship at all for that matter)?
-Will I ever let any one person know all of my darkest secrets?
-Will I ever stop moving around and changing cities?
-Will anything ever really be enough?
-Will I ever "settle down?"
-Will I ever get over my body image issues?
-Will I ever reach a kind of cult fame?
-Will I ever strike a blow at mediocrity and mainstreamedness?
-Will Fred Phelps die before the end of the world?
-Will there be dinosaur clones before the end of the world?
-Will there be dinosaur clones with mounted cannons before the end of the world?
-Will I ever find the perfect drug?
-Will I hum The Perfect Drug to myself if/when I do?

Mix and Match Answers:
-Gosh, I hope not!
-Pshhhhhhhhhh. You know how I do, son!
-FUCK YES!
-FUCK NO!
-who cares...
-Better believe it!
-Signs point to no.


FTW.2012.GFTD (get faded til doomsday)
-awk.daze

EDIT: I DO NOT want to talk about this.