Overlapping Reentry Stamps

...all over my hands. The sign of a hungover Friday at work. Actually, I'm not hungover per se, more like stale. Last night was all kinds of fucked up.

Started at goth bar with Goth Internet Creepster and his fag hag for her birthday. The place was all pale skin and level zero blonde and hip bones and cold stares and drawn in eyebrows and fat girls in lowtop chucks. Goth Internet Creepster had me handing out flyers for his night. I gave them exclusively to boys I wanted to make out with and girls with good bangs.

You know when girls are forced to dress really professionally for work so when they get a chance to go out they take their style just a little bit too far? I have coined that slightly "off" look Girls' Night Out Syndrome. The worst offender (sufferer?) of the Syndrome I've seen in a long time trapped me in a corner and tried to hit on me. I pulled the "Sorry, I'm gay" escape. Really, what I wanted to say was, "Sorry, I'm gay. But even if I were straight, your accessories are ugly."

Goth Fag Hag got SPECTACULARLY drunk, perhaps due to a questionable drink handed to her by Slimey European DJ Guy (who is married by the way). She ended up puking in the bathroom with a stranger holding back her lone black braid. STRANGER DANGER! Maybe that's why she was dragged out by security moments later. And maybe that's why Goth Internet Creepster almost got in a fight with another Girls' Night Out Syndrome sufferer. And maybe that's why my goth club experience was cut short once again.

One awkward cab ride later and I was back at my usual late night bar. Things were in full swing and I had some catching up to do. Alt Thai Lesbian was already making out with Good Bangs Electro DJ Girl (who is married by the way). Tiny Promoter Lesbian was already falling over drunk. Dreadlocked Promoter Lesbian was already LIT UP. Doppleganger Boy was already giving deadly stares to the boys "beneath" him (maybe we have more in common than looks).

And catch up I did.

There's an unexplained, uneaten mini pizza in my fridge.

-Girls'.awk.Nite.Out

P.S. This happened a couple weeks ago, but it's practically the quote of the century. [in the bathroom of late night bar, a redhead girl approaches me while I'm at the urinal] "You look like the kind of boy that wants to get raped by a redheaded girl!"